Happy New Year!

Almost. We did just finish up the Jan. 1, 2007, issue, so excuse me if I think it already happened. HA!

I had a random Friday off and thought I would spend it visiting friends and family I didn't see for Christmas. So off to Greensboro I went after work on Thursday night. I got to Daddy's house around 12:30 a.m.

They knew I was coming. No blanket. No pillows. No friggin heat (they put a cedar chest over the heat vent in my old room so it's as cold as a witch's nipple in there). There is even a big pile of cat crap in the middle of the room (literally, they put an extra litter box in there). What a great welcome.

There were two gifts on my bed from my aunt Susie. One was a super cool ceramic server with a metal stand (sort of like a chafing dish). Then there was a bag with a neat looking candle and a flashlight. I always seem to need a flashlight... I took them off my bed and sitting right in the middle, staring me in the face, was a half-used bottle of KY warming liquid.

I knew where it came from; it was part of a package the girls gave me on the morning of the wedding. What I didn't know is where half of it went, and why it was no longer packed in my other wedding stuff. Eww. I don't want to know.

Sleep.

Woke up to the smell of cinnamon rolls, but no people. I guess the elves baked them for me. I headed up to Granny's for a visit.

Granddaddy was about to leave to go to the cancer doctor to see if his prostate cancer was still in remission (he's a tough old man). "Christine" was going to come over to watch Granny while he was gone. Who is Christine? I asked the same thing. She's the home care nurse...who is crippled (just had knee replacement. How on earth is she supposed to take care of an arthritic old woman when she can hardly support her own weight is beyond me).

"She's colored, but she does a good job."

No, really. Granny said that. Repeatedly.

I've had all I can take. I leave, promising to swing back by on my way out of town.

(more coming shortly...)

IMD update

The head of Interactive Media for North Carolina told our editor he received permission to fill the Statesville IMD position ASAP.

I sent my resume information, and (through Mike) the IMD head was impressed. That's a good sign! If I get it (because it isn't completely in the bag yet), I'll probably move over to IMD in early February.

N.C. Press Association

May I have your attention, please...

I won an award. Well, technically I came in third, but still.

I won third place in the N.C. Press Association's 2006 awards for headline writing.

Oops

Did I really stop posting on Nov. 29? Oops. My bad.

Let's see...where to start.

I'm working a lot. I'll have a super overtime check rolling in right after Christmas, which I guess is nice.

I'm excited that I get to see Erin and Sarah next Friday. It's also a good time to hit up Gboro to visit my family, since our schedules won't let us do both sides of the family this year for Christmas.

My brother called today to tell me that my mom's mom isn't doing too well in the nursing home. I'm not really upset, I just hope if it is her time that it isn't painful. Brad has never met her, and I don't think I've seen her in years.

As for the washing machine, it's still on the fritz. Apparently they make detergent especially for front loading washers because they are "high efficiency." The detergent we have says it is for HE washers, but it isn't. The repair guy ordered some part related to the drain, and said we had to get new soap. That means we're scrimping by on the clothes we have, and hoping Queen will let us wash the essentials when we come down for Christmas. If it's not fixed soon we may have to find a laundromat. I really thought those days were behind us. It's good to know the repair was needed because I bought the wrong soap, and that our washer wasn't just a dud. I really love that washer.

It's getting really close to the New Years, and since I don't do resolutions I figure I'll just tell you all what my pet projects are for life improvement.

The first is to cut out the cancers. Those would be the things, the places and the people that do nothing but suck life away. Instead of feeling guilty for cutting communication short, or not visiting those people/places/things in my life that do not enrich my life in any way, I'm going to leave them in my past. Most of the cancers drag me down, and life is too short to allow that sort of nonsense. So HAI-YA! (That's the karate chop noise).

The second pet project is to be healthy. I started this one last year and made drastic improvements for the wedding. Now it's just for overall wellness. For those of you who have never visited www.calorie-count.com, it is a great tool for keeping track of what you're doing (and whether it's good or bad). It has food and activity logs, and tracks weight (for those using it for that purpose). It even has grades for foods. For instance, the rice I had with dinner last night was an A-, but the crunch bar I had for dessert was a C.

I've sort of taken up "running." I know there are several ex-marathoner readers, so I use "running" loosely. By running, I mean trying to keep my joints from getting old and rheumatoidy by doing high impact exercises. So instead of the ellyptical at the gym, I am now using the treadmill. Very high speed walking uphill for 30 minutes, with 2 minute running intervals every 10 minutes. It's cool for me because the Hickory gym we use is full of old people walking, so I can feel like a buff kid when I work out.

I'm hoping to increase my "running" to where I can get up to a mile of just running (no walking). A girl can dream, can't she? I couldn't do that even when I played soccer seven days a week in high school. I convinced myself I just wasn't cut out for running long distances. Maybe I just wasn't motivated (and I think not eating in high school may have had something to do with it too).

I'm off to work, one of seven straight this week. The copy desk has a hard time covering shifts for those who take time off for Christmas, and this year I am bearing the brunt. They bore the brunt for our honeymoon in September, so I'm not complaining much.

If I forget to post again, have a very Merry Christmas!

IMD?

I had a chat with the editor today. The IMD job is a most-likely in January.

Here's what I know about it.

1. Significant pay increase. We're talking 30 percent.

2. Significant responsibility and authority increase. I would go from a mere copy editor in charge of myself, to IMD coordinator with a hand in management over all the reporters (basically the news editor of the Internet).

3. Constant exposure to video, audio and story creation. The job is basically to maintain Statesville, Lake Norman and Mooresville Web sites with breaking news updates and multimedia. I'm working up a proposal for a way to reach new audiences through a Web-only platform (the audience being young adults, the holy grail of newspapers around the country).

4. Occasional front page designs. The editor wants me to stay sharp in design, so he'd give me 1A every week or so.

5. Lots of travel and training. The one I know of right now is that UNC Multimedia Bootcamp in May. Added bonus: in my free time I can hang with Sarah in Raleigh!

I'll keep you updated. I am extremely excited about the possibilities.

Turkey Day

Thanksgiving was everything it was supposed to be and more! Kitchens collided at the Norman home in Charlotte (meaning the poor Norman slave, Queen, was relieved of daylong kitchen duties as the cooking chore was spread around between her, Bumps and myself).

Did I mention how much I enjoy cooking? I don't get to do it much, especially when I'm married to a carnivore.

After lots of food, a nap, lounging and a little sleep, Queen and I initiated Mission Shop. We synchronized our departure time for 4 a.m. First stop: Carolina Place Mall. Not too crowded, no one visibly grumpy or downtrodden. OK, so maybe there were two exceptions: 1. The line that wrapped around the old-person walking track beside GameStop, where I can only assume people were vying for one of four PS3s sitting in the window. 2. Sears.

Sears opened at 5 a.m., and offered $10 gift cards to the first 200 people. We thought the crowd at the door was hungry for free money. When the chainlink gate refused to open and the crowd saw other people browsing Sears before them, a hysteria began. God forbid!

Some were scrambling to get up the stairs to the second-floor entrance. Queen and I didn't understand: why would they be so upset over $10?

We didn't know where to get our $10, but we figured if we followed the crowd they would lead us to the mother lode. Once the gate opened, two-thirds of the crowd rushed to electronics and the other third darted to tools. Losers.

The gift cards were at the merchandise pick-up entrance. We had to go outside to get in the back of the line. I was #198 and Queen was #199. Woohoo! We made it!

It was a sign of good things to come. Traffic wasn't as bad as last year. Men weren't as grumpy, and there weren't nearly as many small children being dragged by their mothers because their strollers were full of packages.

The second stop was to Dick's Sporting Goods. We considered purchasing another fire pit since last year's got such rave reviews from the recipients. Nah... (I cannot go into great detail of our stop because it may divulge more than I should.)

The third and final shopping stop was to Kohl's. I am a fan of this store. Quality clothes for the boys, cute stuff for the home, and a super sweet $10 for every $50 bonus! The lines once again wrapped entirely around the store, but a woman told us the upstairs lines were considerably quicker. So away we went!

The stop was a complete success, even though I had a run-in with a rude man (who let those creatures out on such a day anyway?)

I just have to tell you about it. Queen ran into one of her friends as we were looking for a Kohl's exclusive near the toy section. This man rolls his shopping bag with wheels next to me and says "oohhhhh K, I need a horn on this thing." He starts to run me over with the thing! I look him right in the eyes and say as coldly as possible "excuse me works too." He just rolls off.

Seriously, it was the only blemish on an otherwise fantastic outing. Once again, women, leave the men folk in bed where they can't get in the way.

We returned, successful in our operation, at 8:30 a.m. Of course, we had to get a super huge breakfast first. It's only proper; we'll call it "debriefing."

It was off to bed for a few hours, then off to work (where I now sit waiting on the press operators to tell me the newspaper is running so I can go home).

Happy Thanksgiving! Remember, your leftovers are only good for three to four days (I learned that today from the advance Sunday health page).

On the horizon?

I was told this week that the new Web site position in Statesville was approved through various corporate meetings. I found out because, upon telling the editor about my recent seminar in Richmond, he mentioned trying to get corporate to pay for half of the annual UNC multimedia bootcamp in May. The response? Since the IMD (interactive media division) job would be open in Statesville, and I would probably get it, then they would pay the entire bill to send me.

Of course, what corporate says and what corporate does aren't always the same thing.

I haven't gotten my hopes up quite yet. But the idea of not only a new position with my name written on it AND a weeklong seminar at UNC (home of online journalism in North Carolina) excites me. I will have to get over the whole UNC thing. Eww.

So I haven't ranted in a while, and ... now that I got it out of my system it has been deleted. Sorry!

Tick tock...

How can I be expected to keep the maternal clock on snooze when the only photo assignments I've shot involve very cute children doing very cute things with their families?

Evidence A: Halloween in downtown Statesville

Honestly, sheis cute. And this little clown is one of about 400 trying to get me to carry on my genes during downtown Statesville's annual trick-or-treating fiasco. Of course, after a few teenage rogue militants with fake machine guns my instincts were thoroughly squashed.

Evidence B: Family Reading Night at Northview Elementary

I wanted to pull up a pillow and listen to this mom read her adorable boys a story. Instead I hassled a 4-year-old for his name (I have to get captions, don't I?).

So there you have it. If you're reading this Queen, don't get your hopes up yet. You definitely have the world on your side. Good thing I'm extremely stubborn.

RIP Ol' Yeller

I write this as I sit alone in a luxurious hotel in Richmond, Va. I say luxurious because they use those white stripe comforters and there are bath robes in the closet.

The R&L sent me to a one-day seminar on "Growing your Online Audience." So here I am, chillaxing at 7:30 on a Monday night 300 miles away from my kitties and my husband.

Speaking of husband, Brad is currently halfway through his first day at the R&L. I know he's going to love it. I do, even if there are a few bad apples (it could be a lot worse).

You ask, who is Ol' Yeller, and why did Jess name this entry after him?

Ol' Yeller was the larger, blue fish of my two fishies. I got them when I moved into my chocolate brown apartment, well before Brad and I began dating. That would make them a little over three years old. I had a red Betta, but he seemed lonely in his big tank. I bought two $0.25 Wal-Mart fishies to keep him company.

No one told me other fish will eat the long fins off Bettas. Oops. The Betta didn't last long, but the fishies did. Well beyond their expected lives.

Just before we left for King's birthday celebration in Charlotte, I noticed that the little blue fish was just sitting on the rocks at the bottom of his tank. Still breathing, but otherwise immobile. When we returned he was belly up on the other side of the tank. Petunia (the pink fish) was swimming over him, as if grieving her loss.

Brad chose not to attend the bon voyage funeral. I'd like to think it was because he was too emotionally distraught (although I think playing Madden '07 seemed like a higher priority than a fish he wish would have died two apartment moves ago).

Ol' Yeller blended in with the blue toilet water, and as he swirled away I said my final goodbyes.

I hope Petunia isn't so heart broken that she chooses to join him soon. What will I do with my super cool aquarium then? Wait... What am I saying?! How can I think real estate at a time like this!? And how could I flee the state when Petunia is in clear distress? I'm a bad human being...

My high school is gone

You know that high school that was all over the news? Yeah, the one that burned to the ground? That was my high school.

Eastern Guilford High School is no more.

I don't really have anything invested in that school anymore, except the $5 I spent on a senior block. Everything else is in my mind. I didn't plan to return for Homecoming or anything. Maybe that's why I'm more amused than saddened.

So here's the story you won't get from AP. Mr. Hefner teaches the not-so-good students. He was on lunch duty when a small fire started in his chemistry classroom. Mr. Riggs (my old marine science teacher) found the fire, tried to extinguish it and failed. He then pulled the alarm and helped everyone out of the building.






Apparently in 1974 when the building was erected, sprinklers were not a requirement. (Good to know I went to a school with no sprinklers, geez.) They just sort of forgot to install sprinklers once it became a requirement.

The auditorium where I gave PTSA speeches is gone. The commons where we met before school to do homework and watch the geeks play with Magic cards is gone. The senior blocks, the stinky locker rooms, the darkroom where I learned photography, the art room where I spent four years...all gone.


I'm not getting mushy or anything. It's just sad for the kids who have to be split up to finish up their school year.



Here are some photos:

Maybe later, Oz

So sorry to disappoint, but high winds kept me on the ground today. Oh well.

I don't really have much other than that.

Clients!

I just got my third major client. If I were a fully-functioning business, this would be putrid. But I am doing this on the side, so this is wonderful!

The first major client was Dr. Roy Gaines' oral surgery Web site. My many thanks to Sarah Mann for referring him to me.

The second major client was Fat Girl 911's logo redesign. Once again, many thanks to Adam Bennett for referring her to me.

The third client was referred to me by the Fat Girl 911 client. It's called Soulutions for Life, and they want a complete design overhaul. New logo, business cards, letterhead, brochures, the works.

It's nice to know that I have spent exactly no dollars to get three clients. Maybe if I decide to take this thing "legal" I'll have some startup scratch!

But that's down the road. For now I am excited to have clients on the West Coast. I am excited that I am being a professional woman with much to offer the market.

Sweet.

Oh! And on a side note, the R&L is a sponsor of the Balloon Fest this weekend. I get to ride in a hot air balloon Saturday for free! I'll share later (if I survive).

Birthday!

I had a fantastic birthday.

King and Queen threw a birthday party in Charlotte on Sunday. It was my first Norman birthday party. It's so comforting to see what a healthy, functioning family I have joined.

Brad took me to Celebration Station on Monday (my actual birthday). We rode gocarts, played mini golf, and racked up 488 tickets in the game room. I had a LOT of fun. Even though I beat him in gocarts, he thoroughly stomped me in minigolf (think 11 shots on just 18 holes). Not my best effort, I must admit.

We traded our tickets for a funny looking cow and a whoopie cushion. We also got two mini Nerf toys, but I think the cats enjoy the Nerfs more than we did.

We headed back to Hickory that afternoon. I took a nap and Brad played Madden 07. Then he took me to Dos Amigos in Newton.

This was one of the best birthdays I've ever had.

Speaking of getting old, I am 25. Brad and I talked about the big rites we have yet to pass.

I think the first on our list is to buy a house. We're thinking within the next two years. The only thing stopping us from trying to a house now is that we have quite a bit of student loans to pay down, and we don't want to buy a house then move up to our next jobs, not knowing where those jobs may be.

Newspapers are unlike other careers. There is usually only one place you can work per city, so you have to be prepared to move in order to move up the totem pole.

That leads to the next big rite: children.

I am not ready. Yet.

I would really like five years for Brad and I to enjoy each other's company and do some of the things we would like to do together before we have to stop being selfish. That would make me 30 when we started trying, if that's how we still feel in five years. Talking to Amy this weekend, anything could happen. We could want to start trying next year. Who knows. We'll take it step by step, and the next step is a semi-permanent home (read: buy a house).

It's amazing how a birthday really kicks you in the rear to think big picture.

And a final note: Brad accepted the job in Statesville. I think everyone is excited, including me. I'll keep you updated on the possible promotion on my end.

Breaking News...

I don't want to jinx too much, but I have to break the story (or stories):

Brad was offered a job at my newspaper. He would make 28 percent more, have a bigger beat to cover and would have WAY better benefits. (Listen to me talk like an adult...) I don't know if he will take it yet. We have to do that marriage-like thing of talking it through.

The second story is that there is a likely promotion/transfer for me. Not to another newspaper, just another job. The Interactive Media Division (IMD) of Media General wants an IMD person at every newspaper. The position would be advertised in January. I've talked to the editor, and since I'm basically overqualified for that job, they would move me into it.

I don't know if it comes with much of a salary increase yet, but I am definitely going to push for one. That means they would replace me on the copy desk and I would spend the day shooting and editing video, and updating the Web site with breaking news throughout the day. Yeah, that's definitely what I got my master's degree for.

I promise to keep my loyal readers more updated. Now that wedding season is winding down, I have a little more time for blogging.

Honeymoon, Day 3

Day 3 (cont.)
So we were upgraded from the regular dolphin encounter to the dolphin adventure.

We were in the water and rubbed the dolphins' bellies, danced and cheered with them, rode around the pool on their bellies and watched them do cool tricks less than 10 feet from us. We even got to feed them fish treats.

It was one of the most memorable things we did.

It was also funny to watch a man in the gift shop freak out when he thought a golf shirt was $495. That's pesos, amigo. HAHA!

When we got back to Samba it was back to our lounging routine. Naps, swimming and eating.

Day 4
The snorkeling trip was earlier than the dolphin trip the day before, so I had to bug Brad to get up early enough that I could get breakfast. The buffet wasn't set up in time, and I was pretty grumpy about that. Luckily they fed us repeatedly on our excursion.

We got on a catamaran for Marina Vallarta around 9 a.m. where we picked up more passengers. We then headed to Las Marietas islands on the northern tip of Banderas Bay. Because I am a geek, I found out about our surroundings. Banderas Bay means Bay of Flags because when Spanish conquistadors sailed into the bay they saw many big feather thingies the locals had put up around the mountainsides. Did you know it is the third largest bay in the world, next to Hudson Bay and the San Francisco Bay?

So Las Marietas are a chain of volcano islands at the northern tip of the bay. They are now an avian sanctuary, but were used in the 1960s as a bomb test site. Jacques Cousteau made a big stink about the whales and they stopped. So that is where we went snorkeling.

Hurricane Lane came through the week before, and the crew said the water was starting to clear up. Nonetheless, it was choppy and hard to see much. Brad was struggling with his deflatable life vest, and I kept getting water in my mask.

We got back on the boat a little early and they fed us HUGE Mexican ham sandwiches and cookies. (They were Mexican because the cheese was different.) They then took us to the south end of the bay to a secluded beach accessible only by boat. There were a few honeymooners' shacks on the cliffs, but other than that it looked like a beach straight out of "Lost."

The catamaran couldn't go all the way to shore, so we hopped out and swam in. I took a life vest as a pool float and just floated around for an hour or so. That part was the highlight of the excursion.

On the way back the crew of the catamaran lip synced to various classics to boost their tips. It was high entertainment.

That's when the cold started to really kick in. I had started to feel the congestion that morning, but trooped through it. Every morning I did stretches to make my back less tight, and after all the swimming I guess it was really tight.

Brad suggested a quick movement to pop it. I centered my chi, then went for it. I crumpled in a heap on the floor. I won't blame it on Brad either, he was just trying to help. I couldn't use my back muscles until I was home again.

Day 5
We began our trek homeward on Friday. We checked out at noon and headed to the airport, where we waited for over an hour for our flight. We played hangman.

We landed in Houston with over an hour until our connecting flight. Little did we know security would take all of that time. Unable to use my lower back muscles, we went as fast as we could through the massive Houston airport to our next gate, where we were just in time to catch a bus to the small jet going to Charlotte. Cool.

I don't remember much once we got back to Charlotte. I drugged myself with Nyquil and slept the entire ride back to Hickory.

Honeymoon, Day 2

Day 2
I woke up at 7 a.m., Puerto Vallarta time (mountain time, two hours behind eastern standard time). So technically I slept in, because my brain thought it was 9 a.m. There was no sun. I thought we had slept through Tuesday. Panic! The sun didn't wake up until around 7:45. I guess because we were on the tip of the next time zone, things are a little late.

Who cares? We're on vacation.

We met with Martin at the hotel lobby (with Dave and Deb Michigan) to discuss excursion possibilities. I had already ordered a dolphin encounter for Brad's wedding gift. We added a snorkeling trip. Dave and Deb did the same. Now our party of two was a party of four every time we left the resort. I'm not complaining. They were good people, and it took the edge off the foreign country. Plus we split taxi fares.

Tuesday was full of reading, swimming and eating. The resort is like a cruise ship on land. Three restaurants. All you can eat. Drink service to your lounger. Poolside activities and games. The bonus: a beach and a huge, awesome pool.

Brad decides he isn't going to shave for the entire honeymoon. I guess he didn't really have a choice because his razor was in the backseat of the Saturn, which was parked in the daily deck of Charlotte Douglas. My poor chafed chin.

Day 3
Wednesday was our day with the dolphins. We spent the day lounging, swimming and eating (sense a pattern?), then met up with the Michigans to ride down to the Vallarta Adventures office. We had signed up for the Encounter, not the Adventure. It was cheaper and instead of swimming with the dolphins for an hour, you petted them from an underwater platform for 15 minutes. The platform was broken.

We were upgraded to the adventure for free! Woohoo! More later...

Wedding and Honeymoon, Day 1

All the things I need to update on are far too lengthy for one post, so I'll try to stagger as much as possible.

The wedding went off without a hitch. We had a grand time with the best people. The ceremony was beautiful, the reception was fun, the food was delicious, the music was entertaining and the toasts were touching.

Afterward the chaos began. I still have no clue where half of the stuff ended up, and am in the process of piecing together the last bits.

We left the reception around 10:30, an hour later than our anticipated departure. We were held up by longer-than-expected goodbyes. I'm not complaining, I love all those people very much.

We had to drive back to the church to pick up Brad's car. We made it back to the hotel around 11:30. Apparently Sarah Mann coordinated a "short sheeting" of our bed, which I didn't even realize was a joke until Queen told me about it. I just remember Brad and I almost fighting because I couldn't get under the covers with the lights out!

Day 1
I couldn't sleep much because I was too worried about the things I left in other people's cars that we would need on the honeymoon. Namely prescriptions and my flip flops. We woke up at 4:30 and headed out at 5 to meet Lori halfway between downtown and my middle-of-nowhere home. We made it to the Charlotte airport in time for our flight. Whew.

We almost didn't make it to Houston in time for the connecting flight. The Puerto Vallarta airport was nicer than I expected, but still very small. There was a shuttle waiting for us. We rode with a couple from Michigan, Dave and Deb, who were celebrating a birthday, 15th wedding anniversary and Dave's retirement in one big trip.

Samba Vallarta (our hotel) was a dream. Manicured pool, beautiful seascape, tile-floored room. The floors were funny because the maid's shoes squeaked a lot.

As soon as we were left alone, I started getting out of my clothes and into my bikini for the pool. I get my pants off and there is a knock on the door. The maid entered and I did the first thing I could think to keep from exposing my Vickies to a foreign stranger: I got in the closet and shut the doors. The closet was big, and had wooden screen doors.

Little did I know she came back to put the pillows on our bed. Little did I know the pillows were stored in the closet. Luckily I got another pair of pants of the luggage and redressed. Brad was a little awkward trying to keep the lady from going in the closet, but I opened the door and tried to act like it was completely normal for me to be in the closet.

She just laughed, as I probably would have done. How embarrassing.

After a few hours at the pool, we went back to the room to freshen up for dinner. A little nap would be great.

Should we set an alarm, Brad asked. Let's just see what happens, I said.

It was 6:30. We didn't wake up until the next morning.

Good hump day

Happy Wednesday all. As you probably all know, this is my last Wednesday as a Hines.

Exciting, I know.

But I'm not freaking out. Why does everyone ask me that?

I am, of course, the mastermind of all things anal compulsive. I had many of the details ironed out months ago. Just ask my dozens of Excel spreadsheets. They'll tell you.

I am setting myself up for tragedy, I know.

So why is today such a glorious hump day?

Could it be because 14 inches of rain poured on me today? No. Could it be because I came in an hour early to work? No. Could it be because I got free Mexican food and a compliment from a stranger? How'd you guess?

(I'm in an odd mood, so work with me here).

Today was the goodbye lunch for Mandy, a cubical neighbor and all around good person. She is moving (all by herself) to California to pursue the next step in her journalism career. Wow. Which brings me to the Mexican food. Did I mention it was free?

When you've been here for more than a year and you leave on good terms, the publisher treats the newsroom to a goodbye lunch. I've had the privilege of going to three. (That's what happens in a small newsroom, lots of turnover).

When we returned to work a small German woman came up to the receptionist and asked him something I couldn't hear. I did hear him say "well let me find the person responsible for that."

Uh oh! Duck and cover!

Angry readers are the worst to deal with, especially for the poor copy editor that's never allowed to mingle with the public (wait, I like it that way. Some people are really dumb).

O.C. (the receptionist) finds me working mindlessly and introduces the little frau. She is carrying the Focus on Iredell spread from Sept. 3 (as shown on the right). She then barraged me with compliments. How creative I am! How did I come up with something this neat looking? How nice it is to see neat things in the newspaper. Then she has me sign the back of the page so she can mail it to her German family.

Awesome.

I have a German fan club.

And I'm getting married on Sunday.

Kitty update

I know you were all dying for a cat update! Don't hide it!

We were so lonely without the cats for all of three days. I can only imagine what torture it must have been for them, all alone in a vet's kennel for the weekend. I guess it showed when we picked them up.

When they brought Smalls out his eyes were huge. He saw Brad and relaxed a little. Brad hugged him while they got Rocky.

Wouldn't you know the biggest crybaby when he's just lying around the house would also be the loudest cat on Earth at the vet. We heard him from the other side of the building. Brad even asked if that was Rocky.

Rocky looked much worse than Smalls did. His fur was mussed, his paws were noticeably more scabbed, and he kept crying.

Once we got them home they insisted on human contact for the rest of the day. They wouldn't let us out of their sights. Poor things.

I keep seeing these cats that are skinny, then get fixed and balloon into Garfield-type fatties. The vet says it's all about portion control. So that's what I do. I feed them in the morning when they knaw on my knees to get me out of bed. Smalls now sits on my face to wake me.

But all the food is gone before we even go to work that afternoon. Brad convinced me to feed them a little more. So I did. THAT is all gone by the time I come home at night. I was worried at first because they weren't running around the house wreaking havoc like in the pre-op days. Today changed my mind completely.

They tore up the blinds, knocked over my fake plant, knocked over the half-full trash, and knocked the laundry basket off of the dryer into the recycling bin. PLUS they wrinkled up our marriage license!

Good to see things are getting back to normal.

I'll post photos soon.

State game

I wore my ASU shirt to work today.

Appalachian State's football team is in Raleigh, where they just lost to NC State. Am I disappointed? Just a little. I had a feeling they would pull off a win, even if it were a lucky one.

At least they didn't get stomped. I guess that is what the losing team says when it loses, huh? 23-10 isn't bad. I'm sure Brad will tell me the finer philosophical and strategic points of this all, so I'll spare my thoughts.

Today is day five of 10. I switched shifts with a coworker next week so I could go to the James Madison game in Boone next Saturday, which means I had to do my Tuesday-Saturday shift, plus her Sunday-Thursday shift.

The silver lining? I'll have a four-day weekend after that as I go back to my regular shift. Another silver lining? I'll only have to do three days once I get back from that long weekend thanks to our wedding and ensuing honeymoon.

Should I be worried that Hurricane John scraped by our honeymoon destination? I'm sure they've dealt with it before. It'll be fine, right? I should be more worried about the flights. I haven't checked luggage in a really long time (in fact, I think I've only checked luggage once, on a trip to Europe). Maybe that'll be the trend in my airline travel: check luggage when you leave the country.

Awesome.

Oh, and one last thing.

Brad and I were walking home from Pizza Hut yesterday and I found $5 on the ground. However he was holding my hand at the time, so we have to share it.

Is it really September?

Wow. September 1.

I hope I have everything squared away for the wedding! It's coming faster than I thought it would!

Brad and I went to Greensboro to get our marriage license on Tuesday. Do you know they make you swear on a Bible? I didn't.

I also chewed a little on the weekend schedule. I'll include a bit about it here. Let me know if you'd like to volunteer for anything (I'm in desperate need of people with things labelled **)

Before Friday:
buy two wreath hangers for church doors
buy floral tape
buy big trashcans (makeshift coolers)
get Brad's passport

Friday:
Drop off babies in Charlotte (me)
Pick up dresses from David's Bridal (my stepmom is doing this for me)
Flowers delivered (stepmom/dad taking care of this)

Saturday:
2: Build bouquets and other florals (bridesmaids and Bumps)
4: Rehearsal
Pick up groom's cake from baker **
5ish: Rehearsal dinner (Queen will set up beforehand)
8: Separate for night

Sunday:
Drop off beer, soda and decorations at Kress for caterer ** (my brother may volunteer for this)
Pack drinks in ice in trashcans so they can start getting cold **
11 a.m.: Ladies' brunch
noon: Head to church to start getting ready
Help caterer decorate Kress **
2:30ish: Groomsmen and Brad meet at church for group shots
3:30ish: Bridesmaids and Jess have group shots
4:30ish: Boys begin ushering early arrivals
4:55: Susie starts playing live music
5: Ceremony
5:30ish: Ceremony over; Guests head to Kress; We have more group shots together
6:15: Leave for Kress
6:30: First dance, etc.
7: Dinner
10ish: We leave for night

Monday:
5 a.m.: Brad and Jess leave for Charlotte
(Someone pick up Brad's tux and Jess' dresses)**
9 a.m.: International flight returning Friday

My mother and miscellany

I refrained from posting about my mom for a long time. I didn't stew in silence; I've talked about it with many of you. And as many of you know, she disowned me on Mother's Day.

I could go into her reasons, but I won't. I could justify my thought processes and subsequent lack of action, but I won't.

I wish her the best. People have asked me what I'll do if she doesn't come to Brad's and my wedding. I have come to peace with the fact that she probably won't come. I haven't, however, come to peace with the fact that she might come.

I don't want her to come and act the way she did at our graduation cookout in May. I don't want her to make everyone else uncomfortable, and I don't want her to force other loved ones out of sharing in the moment. I don't want our special day to revolve around her.

But I want her there. Not so much for me (because I've always been the independent type--or so I tell myself), but for her. I don't want her absense to add to the darkness she is in.

I know one thing though. I'm not going to tiptoe around the issue any more.

Water shortage
When I woke up this morning, it worked just fine. Brushed my teeth, washed my face, watered the cats. When Brad woke up this morning, it did not.

"Did you pay the water bill?" he asks.

"Honey, it's included in rent, and we paid that."

Poor Brad. I hope the water is on when we get home. I need to do dishes...

Apendages no more
Our boys have appointments to have almost every dangly bit chopped off. We will drop them off next Friday morning at Dr. Peeple's office, where they will have their front claws removed along with their ability to reproduce. To make things worse, they have to get a few booster shots, too.

Poor boys. At least the daily barrage of my favorite cushy chair will end.

36

You're sitting at a cramped desk in a stuffy room that smells like industrial paint and cleaner, and the vanilla lotion of the girl sitting behind you chomping on gum. You're scribbling furiously on a sheet of paper trying to make the gibberish transform into the answer you need. Just one. You look up at the clock and you can hear the second hand ticking. Ticking your time away. The more you notice the clock, the less you can concentrate. Tick tick tick.

Countdowns are stressful. OK, so I'm being a little melodramatic. I checked our Knot page today. It has a countdown til showtime.

36 days.

I have 36 days left of calling vendors, harrassing people for RSVPs, scratching together enough moolah to make this big day happen. Tomorrow I'll have 35 days. Soon I'll have a month.

I have to admit, I'm being very melodramatic. I'm coasting right now. Almost everything is taken care of (well except for the RSVP thing--that is stressful).

For so long our wedding day was so far away. I could relax and piddle with whatnots. The ribbons on the favor boxes; the floral pins; the votives. Now I have to answer real questions: Who will do my hair? When should my dad get to the church? Where will Brad be while I'm getting ready? (and so on...)

I am 36 days away from being a new person, if not just in writing. I'm going to be a wife.

More shower photos

TiVo

How great it is to have almost complete control of your television viewing experience!

My lovely new friend not only tells me what is on, but what episode it is. It remembers if I liked it or disliked it. It makes suggestions of things I might like to watch. It even lets me record "Blind Date," a show I thought went off the air a long time ago only to discover it airs at 3 a.m.

There is only one drawback. Channel 71 was WE (Women's Entertainment) without the box, and with the box it has become the Encore Love Stories channel. Boo. No more "Bridezillas" until Brad gets a functioning TV in his room. I think I've had enough training on what not to do that I can go without the rest of the new season.

The deadline for RSVPs approaches, and I'd say we've had about 60 percent return their red cards or contact us. Now comes the fun time of place and escort cards, and seating charts.

More fun news: Queen has arranged the rehearsal dinner. Anyone planning to be in Greensboro the night before the wedding should come out to Hagan-Stone Park. Stamey's Barbeque is catering for us after the rehearsal. We have a shelter near the lake, and lots of good food. Because it is a cute park, all the girls can still wear their cute sundresses. Yippee!

If anyone is in need of lodging information for the hotel, please let me know. It is a small hotel so it may book quickly.

When I get off from work (err... I mean not work), I head home to my lovely fiance who made cookies tonight just for me. I picked a good one.

Shower

I didn't truly remember how great it was to open presents until this weekend at our wedding shower. My bridesmaids threw the shower at the church where we are getting married. Here is a photo... I have to get ready for work, so I'll update at (err) not work. Yeah, that's it. (wink wink).

More updates...

Brad and I left early Sunday morning to make it to the 10:10 service at Mt. Pleasant. For those who have never attended one of the contemporary services churches are offering, I recommend them. You know it's a good thing if the little boy in the aisle is grooving out to the music.

Bill (the preacherman) saw the wedding program and referred a printing company. (For those who don't know his back story, he was a graphic designer and owned his own business in a previous career life). He was impressed with it and asked me if I'd be willing to do some illustration work for some of their outreach services. I'd basically draw coloring book figures for different Bible stories. More details on that when I get them.

I got a voice mail today from a lady at Rowan Cabarrus Community College. I had applied there for an English/Communication instructor position before I landed my current job. She said someone left them and they were in need of an adjunct instructor for some communication classes. She gave me her HOME phone number and asked that I call her immediately if I am interested. She even said there is potential for full-time by the spring. But... I am happily employed at the moment. It was nice to know I was wanted though.

Queen set up the rehearsal dinner and called to tell me about it tonight. It should be great! She reserved a shelter at Hagan Stone Park in Pleasant Garden (about 20 minutes south of Greensboro). It has a lake and all kinds of fabulous things to do. She's booking the best barbeque restaurant ever to cater it at the park: Stamey's. That's one more monkey off my back.

Oh! I bought a rehearsal dress this weekend at David's Bridal. I went home and tried on my gown Sunday night and realized that I was going to melt if I had to wear that thing anywhere but a 65 degree room. For anyone not named Brad Norman, click here to see it. I will definitely be able to have a good time in that dress. I also got new cute shoes from Payless to complete the ensemble (I prefer to call it a "costume change").

While I was in Greensboro I also visited the cake maker Maxie B's. I ordered a few surprises and a grooms cake to go along with our super-amazing wedding cake. If you go to the Web site you'll notice that the store is very chic. Their cakes look and taste amazing! I can't really describe the grooms cake because Brad wants to put his touch into it. We'll see if that lasts (he tends to forget things unless they come up again).

The shower was great. All the bridesmaids but Sarah and Erin were there (they were in NYC having a wonderful time). Brad's grandmother, aunt and mom came, and my dad was there. Amanda's mom was there too to round out the house. The shower was themed "Around the Clock," and everyone was assigned a time of day. I loved it.

I think the most amusing gift had to be from Steve Fowler for Brad. It was a Superman throw blanket (yes, he registered for that) in a Superman gift bag with a Superman card: "From one Superman to another, love Steve." Brad's face lit up. He still has the bag.

I have two photos that took too long to upload this morning, so I'll post them soon.

Whew!

We FINALLY got Internet access at the apartment. When you get used to having something, then not having it, it feels like you're missing a few toes or fingers. How did we ever survive without Mapquest, email and online bill pay? Is it ironic that I am still using the Internet at {the place we shall not mention] instead of at home? HAHA!

On my way out the door to work today I stumbled over a massive box. How exciting! Brad was giddy as we cracked open the shipping tape to find...a wedding gift! Our first (well, unless you count the absolutely fabulous toasting glasses Erin and Sarah gave us as an engagement gift). It was from Moose and Reba. It was a super cool barbeque set (baster, spatula, poker and such for the grill)! Brad was still looking it over as I left for work.

It is now August. I am not freaking out now that it is August, or at least not as much as I was in late July thinking about it soon being August. I think (knock on wood everybody) that everything is pretty much under control at the moment. We still have quite a few missing RSVPs, but the "deadline" isn't until mid-August, so I can be patient.

The babies (kittens for those not in the know) have their first vet appointment tomorrow for their shots. We're also going to have them declawed in the near future. I keep reading on the Internet about how you really shouldn't declaw cats. It's inhumane and terrible, etc etc. I tried to do some research so I could talk intelligently with the vet tomorrow, and Google searches came up with all these sites screaming at me not to get it done. They all recommend these SoftPaws, some kind of plastic covering on the claws so they can't do any damage.

I really don't want to hurt my babies. But what about when Brad and I decide to have human babies? I know I won't be able to handle the litter box, but I want to be able to handle my kitties without causing damage to my human-baby. Then when the human-baby comes out I don't want to worry about the kitties scratching him/her.

So there, I have rationalized it all I need. Plus I can't keep my hands and furniture looking nice when I have to hellions who didn't know it wasn't cool to claw when they were impressionable. How many people have cat-clawed hands in their wedding photos?

One last thing, then I'm done. Brad and I got new phones today. I kept my same phone number, since I was already with Cingular. Brad was added to our new FamilyTalk plan. (Yikes, how old am I that I just signed up for a FamilyTalk plan?!?) His new number is 828-308-0647. Guess how happy he was to hear that his favorite number was now a part of his phone number? Right, very. He still has his old phone, since the plan with his parents doesn't run out until a year or so from now. You can still reach him with that number.

We also ordered TiVo today. I'll update more later this week.

I'm off to Greensboro this weekend for tons of wedding fun (including my shower--sweet!!).

More later...

The long-awaited photos

We had lots of help to move into our new apartment, but it was hot and our stuff was heavy. Everyone was tired...

Yes, it's not correctly exposed, but you get the idea. This is the angle when you first walk in. Don't hold it against me that I was watching "The Hot Chick" when I shot this photo.

The babies. Rocky is black. Smalls is gray. They are inseparable...

...And then we bought a new washer and dryer. Don't they look spiffy?

Post partum depression?

A few weeks ago Queen offered to come take care of me when we returned from our honeymoon.

Why would I need someone to take care of me? Was I going to come back with a stomach bug from Mexican water? Was someone going to assault me at the wedding?

What terrible thing lies in store for me after the honeymoon?

Absolutely nothing. No seriously.

She made the point that after all this planning and stressing, coordinating and arranging, that I will be without a big finish line to assign all of my attention. As soon as this reality hits me, I will tragically fall into a dark depression, from which I will need to be nursed by Queen if I have any chance of surviving.

I was shaken by the conversation, and approached several ladies at work about it. The single girls were taken back: "What!?? Are you serious?" Same reaction I had...

A few married and divorced girls just acknowledged my fears: "Yep, be ready," and "It'll just hit you that you'll have to be with that man for the rest of your life, and all the s*** that comes along with him."

I exited the conversation as some of my coworkers began their tirades on how they will never marry or remarry again.

Yikes.

I'm not worried about Brad, or getting married. I have never been more sure about anything (well, except that I'm a heterosexual woman--I'm pretty sure about that, too). I'm slightly concerned about his sports addiction, but that's manageable. I am concerned about my mental stability.

Do I give myself a new finish line, and what should it be? Or should I relax in knowing that I can have a boring, monotonous life for a little while, then jump back into things with both feet?

August sneaks

Oh my gosh, it's almost August. Deep breath in. Deep breath out.

Lots of things have happened since my last post.

The biggest: we made our first official adult purchase. A front-loading washer and dryer will be delivered to our apartment Saturday. Very exciting, yet very frightening. Especially when you're signing over your discretionary income to Best Buy for the next two years.

I set up our Internet connection yesterday at work. Bad news: not only can we not get DVR (which is a Charter service and we are forced to use the in-house cable service of the apartment complex), but Internet must come from the phone company. The phone company won't do just broadband Internet, so we were forced to get a basic land line, too. It all works out to be about the same price we were paying in Boone, but I didn't want a land line.

Here is the number, but it won't be on til Monday, and we have to buy a phone to connect to the wall. Basically it'll be an extended voice mail service (AKA answering machine) and a back up plan in case of national disasters.

828-256-7151

Oh, here's our new address:

2830 16th Street NE #36
Hickory, NC 28601

(FYI...the rest of the post is about the cats)

The cats are adjusting well. Once again, I promise photos will be posted soon (as soon as I find the dongle to attach the baby camera to my computer). Rocky is a big cry baby who runs around the house hollering. He hollers when Smalls is sleeping or hiding and he can't find him. He hollers because he's bored. He hollers because he sees birds.

Smalls is the biggest clutz I've ever seen. He jumped off a half-wall into a box and banged his leg, then limped under the futon to pout for a while. Today he ran full speed to the top of the chair, only to run (full speed) into the window behind it. He has repeatedly tried to catch his tail, only to fall off whatever he is perched upon. It's very entertaining.

Today I went for a soda in the fridge and they both jumped in and made themselves at home. Have you ever fished a cat out of a fridge? They also managed to find a way into my bed's box springs, and into the bottom of my big cushy chair. I solved the box spring dilemma with a well-placed underbed box, but the cushy chair will require sewing.

They are to the point that they will let you rub them and they will purr, which is a major improvement over the skittish chickens they were a few days ago. They were used to me because I cat-sat for their previous owner for a week. I could tell Brad was frustrated by them at first. He says he's beginning to like them now. Nothing is cuter than seeing him play with them.

Exhausted, but good

First and foremost, let me apologize for falling off the face of the planet. We just moved in to our lovely two-bedroom abode in Hickory, but have yet to connect Internet access (you guessed it, I'm at {the place we shall not mention} right now).

I had a very rough weekend, which included sleeping on a floor (or I should say NOT sleeping on a floor), driving a 26-foot U-Haul up a two-lane mountain highway and scaling a total of four flights of stairs numerous times.

I promise I'll have photos of the new apartment, and the kittens, soon! I just have to find the cord that connects my camera to the computer. Oh, and I have to unpack my computer.

The laptop is dead. This is bad because all the wedding planning documents are saved on its hard drive. It is dead because the battery charger refused to work anymore, and Apple says it will take at least a month to get a new one to me. Apparently lots of people are having trouble with their laptop chargers, hence the lack of supplies.

It is nice to live with Brad Norman again. He is a very pleasant person, and I missed him tremendously this summer.

Please, oh please, don't be mad if I haven't replied to emails/voice mails in a few days. I'm so far behind it's going to take me a while to catch up!

I need a nap.

CHINA PATTERNS!

Just when I thought my life had hit a new all-time 48-hour low (explanation forthcoming)... I go to Target.com and find...

That the china pattern I fell in love with last year is now available again!

I had registered Brad and I for it, only to be extremely disappointed when it was no longer in stock at any Target stores. It is back!!!

If you didn't hear me rave about the pattern last year, here it is: It's called Provence, and it is a set of four coordinating, but not identical plates and bowls. It has bright yellows, blues, reds, greens, you name it! I absolutely love it.

I was so sad at thinking I would have to register for plain white china.

So about the low.

I drove to Boone from work Thursday night so we could sign our lease and get our keys on Friday before I yet again commuted to work. I forgot my cell phone in Boone, and Brad forgot his papers for work, so when he turned around to get them I had no way of knowing. Once I realize he's no longer behind me, I turn around upset that perhaps something bad had happened that I didn't notice as I was leading us to Hickory.

After that 30 minute lapse, we make it to Hickory late for our appointment. I hate being rushed. I had to leave almost as soon as we had a chance to breathe in order to make it to work on time. Last night I didn't leave work until 12:30 a.m. (I was expecting to get out at 10:30), when I then had to drive to Boone (an hour and a half away up mountains).

I then woke up at 9 a.m. to clean, pack and load the car for another load to Hickory. Brad, for the second day in a row, begins syndroming so we must go find food.

I had called U-Haul about our truck on Thursday, and was instructed to wait until they called me, which would be before 5 p.m. on the day before we had reserved it. I never got another call, so I called them today. There are no trucks. Maybe we could drive one up from Hickory and back down? The Hickory office was so perturbed that I asked them to work two minutes before closing that they told me to call back at 7 a.m., at which time I may or may not be able to get a truck.

Moose, CJ, King, Queen, Brad and I will be in Boone ready to move everything Brad and I own early tomorrow morning. With no truck.

I haven't gotten enough sleep in the past couple days. I smell bad. My house is a mess. And I have no truck.

Two months...

Today is July 13. Oh wait, I'm running a day ahead because I'm making the July 13 paper at the moment. Today is July 12.

That means in merely TWO months I will be in Greensboro ... about to get married. I got out of wedding planning mode for a little while so I could focus on graduation and the whole job prospecting thing. Now that those are out of the way, I really need to get cracking!

So here goes. My list of what's left.

1. Programs. They are fully designed, and are currently being proofed. Everyone who has seen them has had a change to make, so this will be a LONG process. Then I have to find someone to print them at a decent price.

2. Flowers. Brad and I have decided to get a Sam's Club membership (I was the complimentary spouse of my stepmom for years since my dad didn't use it), then get bulk roses ordered from them. It is a pretty fantastic deal, and Sam's Club is usually higher quality stuff than Wal-Mart. The girls and any other women I can recruit will assemble the bouquets, corsages and boutonierres on the night before. We will then store the flowers in the hotel room of the guest who likes the coldest room.

3. Ceremony. I'm still ironing out details with Brad and the preacherman about the ceremony. Basically we need to choose what direction we would like the mini-sermon and blessing to go in, and nail down the specifics of who does what, and when.

4. Clothing. I know I should have all this completely ready by now, but it isn't. I don't have a veil, since I'm not a fan of the cheap one I got from a craft store. Also, I don't think anyone other than Brad and C.J. have ordered their tux rentals. I think all the girls except Heather have ordered their dresses. Plus I can't think of anything "borrowed." Any ideas?

5. Out-of-towners. I need to get together information for basically everyone but my family and Jenn about where we have a special hotel deal, and how to get to places (and when). This is particularly important for me to do now because I have to do the tacky task of telling people they have to spend money on a hotel. Eeek.

6. Everything vendor. All the deposits are paid, and now I need to be sure everyone is going to do what I want on that day. Basically I've come up with spreadsheets for each vendor of when they need to be there, and exactly what I want them to do for me. (Trust me, it isn't Bridezilla-ish, hopefully just question proof).

7. Music. How could I forget?!? I haven't asked my aunt Susie about playing piano at the wedding yet! Sheesh, I need to get on that too!

Clearly I should be doing more calling and less typing into blogs.

Two-fingered salute

It's prevalent where I grew up. As you pass others you casually raise two fingers from the steering wheel in salutation. The gesture is reciprocated by the pedestrian or driver.

It is nice. A little "hello" from a neighbor. A little "I know we don't know each other, but I'm glad to see you are well. Have a wonderful day."

It is habit for me. Dog walkers, joggers and suburban driving passers-by all get the two-fingered salute. Rarely ever is it reciprocated. I have a few theories.

1. Charlotte is getting too big for its britches. People in Charlotte feel they shouldn't denigrate themselves by the distraction of hello. They forget that Charlotte is in the heart of Bible-thumping, sweet tea-guzzling, "ya'll" country. They live in a world devoid of all kindness and hospitality, and that is sad.

2. They have no free hand. How can one remove two fingers from a steering wheel if there are no fingers on the wheel to begin with? Many of the non-gesturing folk cannot do so because of cell phones, lattes or lipstick tubes. God forbid I distract them further, since they will probably kill themselves, their passengers and nearby pedestrians in the not-so-distant future.

3. They do not know. It's a simple explanation. Perhaps I came from such a backward existence that those in contemporary society were never exposed to the two-finger salute. After all, who would refuse a hello if they knew the opportunity existed?

So if you pass someone in a dirty farmer in a beat up pickup truck, or a twentysomething in a teal Corolla, take a millisecond and raise two little fingers to say hello. Trust me, knowing you are being a nicer human will make your day less miserable.

Can't make this up

Yes, this is entirely true.



"Organizers of the Iredell County Independence Day Parade made sure there was plenty of water available to refresh participants and spectators on a hot July 1 morning. Some participants, however, came to town with their own refreshments."



"Confederate re-enactors fire their rifles in a Fourth of July salute along the parade route."

Arachnophobia

Wednesday Night

I returned to the Normans' house after spending the weekend in Charleston and Boone, then a full day of work. It was an especially late night, and I didn't get back to Charlotte until 1 a.m. I go to open the screen door at 8824 Rally Drive when a spider THE SIZE OF A GOLF BALL lunges at me.

I can't handle it. I'm on the phone with Brad at the time. He keeps reminding me of my yellow belly, and how I need to deal with the spider. Keep in mind, this spider is a lunger, I'm in sandals and I am carrying no squooshing device but my purse, and why would I do that to such a cute bag?

My only option was to find another way to get into the Norman home. Garage? Too easy; the spider probably had backups waiting in the deep recesses of the door just waiting to attack my hand as I went to raise the door. What could I do?

With Brad on my cell phone in one hand and the motion sensor light going crazy in the driveway, I made my way around to the back of the house. OK Jess, the screen door handle on the back door can't have a spider hiding behind it...

I test the lock. VICTORY! I'm in!

Thursday Night

What are the chances, I tell myself, that this monstrous sentry spider will be at the door again tonight? I start to regret the kindness of the Normans in leaving the porch light on for me. After all, the light attracts bugs and that must be why the spider is torturing me so after a long night at work.

It is there again.

"Don't let it get the best of you," I tell myself. Deep breath in, deep breath out. I stomp on the porch to attempt to scare it away just long enough to unlock the door and get inside to safety.

STOMP! (I was wearing Keds that night -- anticipating a showdown, I didn't want my toes to be vulnerable). It jumped TOWARD me!

That's IT! This spider clearly is sitting at the front door every night to scare the beegees out of me. I turn around to go in through the emergency route when another smaller spider starts descending from a tree just feet from me.

AAGH!

What did I hear, besides the irrational fear eating at the back of my mind that the cat that was left out at night was really a rabid raccoon coming to eat my knees? A man across the street calling his dog. Glenn Small! My hero!

I power walk to his house and beg him to save me. Equipped with a ball Tate must have left in the driveway, Glenn marches straight over to the spider, tells me it is a force to be reckoned with, then quickly squooshes it.

My eternal gratitude goes out to Glenn Small, killer of large spiders and savior of arachnophobes on Rally Drive.

Now, one part of the story I omitted: I knew I was going to hear it from Brad when he called. I let the spider get the best of me TWO nights in a row. Maybe he didn't realize the magnitude of this beast. I just happened to have my digital camera with me so I pulled it out and took a quick shot of the behemoth. See below... And notice the especially creepy extra eyes that seem to glow in the flash's light.

Fat Girl 911

My good friend Adam referred a client to me for a logo design. At first, my thoughts were "sweet! A client!" Then I heard what the logo involved: Fat Girl 911. Awesome. Here is the final workup. I'm sending the file to Bo (she lives in California--whoa!) tomorrow.

CHARLESTON!

I am almost beyond words at the moment.

I am going to Charleston tomorrow with my best friends tomorrow. All seven of them. Holy friggin crap are we going to have a great time!

It's my bachelorette party. I haven't seen Carrie since we graduated together two years ago. Erin is in NYC, so I see her every blue moon or so. I see Jenn (a super fantastic chick I've known since first grade) maybe twice a year. Sarah and the Byrds are my next most-frequent visitors, coming in at roughly three times a year. Heather I see more often that the rest because she is closely linked to the Normans, and the Normans are hard to get away from.

We are all descending upon Charleston with all the sheer force that could possibly be expected of the Gynarchy (plus a few additions).

On the place we shall not mention...

Have you noticed that these entries seem to post between 5-11 p.m.? Yeah, I'm at (the place we shall not mention) then. I get bored because I have finished my (stuff I cannot discuss), or am waiting to finish my (stuff I cannot discuss). There is nothing left to do but play solitaire or pinball and wait. Oops! Gotta go do (stuff I cannot discuss)!

Ma'am Age?

I joked when I turned 23 that I had reached "ma'am age," the age when teens start calling you "ma'am." It was only a joke.

Two years later I have truly reached ma'am age. On my walk out of the newspaper office tonight for dinner the skateboarders were in the parking lot commiting various acts of delinquency, including smoking and (duh) skateboarding on our loading dock.

Upon seeing me, they seemed to spook. Three boys separate and start heading for the street, and one hides a cigarette (as if I was going to bust them -- please). I noticed that I do look suspiciously like a soccer mom today (light blue capris with a yellow polo and white keds -- scary stuff). That is when I realized it: I'm no longer cool.

I can no longer hang with the teenagers. I can't just blend in with the mallrats and the skaters. I can't loiter in front of bowling alleys or cruise the mall parking lot without looking like a complete loser.

Since when did I become such an adult?

More in-depth...

So much is going on, it's hard to keep track of it all!

We are moving into our new two-bedroom, two-bath apartment at Argyle Place on Friday, July 14, with a huge move-in day on Sunday, July 16. It is this cozy apartment complex in northeast Hickory with a pool and walking trails. I think it's only a few miles from Lake Hickory, and it's a few miles down the road from Lenoir-Rhyne College. Our unit (as the landlady said on the phone yesterday), faces the woods, so we get afternoon sun and less view of the neighbors. It's on the second floor, so it has higher ceilings. (Very exciting).

Queen's coworker Ruth has a litter of kittens in her one-bedroom apartment in Ballantyne and needs to find homes. She offered to keep them until we had our new apartment, and even get their first set of shots if we wanted them. We went to see them and they are PRECIOUS!

There were two boys and a girl. The girl was all gray, and one boy was gray with white spots. My favorite was a black and white boy. Brad and I will be the proud mommy and daddy of the two boys, whom he named "Rocky" and "Smalls" (the boxer and the kid from "The Sandlot" for those of you not in the know). They are still small, and will need a lot. I've never been truly responsible for any pets (unless you could my fish Petunia and Ol Yeller), so things like vet visits and litter boxes will be a new experience.

Nonetheless, very exciting.

Brad and I booked our DJ for the reception. We are in the process of picking out songs to be played, since apparently we are really picky. Sheesh!

With that booking we now have all but one major reservation for the wedding. All that's left is the florist.

I've mentally checked out of work this week because I'm in eager anticipation of the upcoming bachelorette weekend in Charleston! Eight of us (that's right, and that's not all the girls either-Ashley isn't old enough to play with the big girls yet), will stay at the King Charles Inn and have a grand time!

Speaking of grand times, my Christmas present was fantastic! Brad promised he would take me to a theatre show for Christmas, but the next interesting show wasn't until June (now). What a great gift. We went to Morton's steak place in uptown Charlotte. I had lobster bisque as an appetizer (it was amazing). Then I had broiled salmon and split a baked potato with Brad. He had the NY strip steak. We ate entirely too much, then ate dessert! It was this chocolate cake with hot fudge inside, with a scoop of icecream on the side. It also had raspberries and a sprig of mint. DELICIOUS!

We cut it close, and had to go immediately to the theatre (it was only a few blocks away so we walked off some of our food coma). We sat in the mezzanine, which apparently means the first balcony. The show was great; much more entertaining than the movie version of "Chicago." We sat beside some guy who kept complaining that it wasn't visually interesting, since the set and actors were all black.

Brad was getting mad at him, and as soon as he got up for the intermission Brad whispered what a tool he was. I laughed really loud. oops.

I had a fantastic time, and I think Brad did too. It's so much fun to dress up and go on "grown up" dates.

OH! How could I forget...

We booked our honeymoon. It's a four-star, all-inclusive hotel in Puerto Vallarta. We'll leave for a 9 a.m. flight from Charlotte on Monday morning (yipes!), and return on Friday night. We got a fantastic deal on it, and our room overlooks the Gulf of Mexico. I even got Brad's wedding gift (about which I won't disclose any more information, since he may read my blog). If you want to know what it is, email me (jhines@hinesmedia.com) and I'll spill.

OK, enough with the updates. I'm going to fix up the images of the pages I'm doing at work and post them tomorrow (if I remember). I'll be sure to post photos of the new kittens, and the new apartment.

Thanks for reading! I didn't realize how widespread the blog was until I deleted the old one!

Update!

I had to get a new blog. My old blog was leaked to my workplace, and they have a corporate policy that employees are not to blog about their job.

Quick update, then I promise I'll add more later...

I am in Charlotte living with the Normans.

I just got my Christmas and birthday presents. Christmas: dinner at Morton's and "Chicago" with my lovely fiance. Birthday: KITTENS! Rocky and Smalls, two adorable brothers who are currently living with one of Queen's coworkers until we move.

Oh yeah, we're moving to Hickory in July. We sign the lease soon.

More details later. Welcome back!