Turkey Day

Thanksgiving was everything it was supposed to be and more! Kitchens collided at the Norman home in Charlotte (meaning the poor Norman slave, Queen, was relieved of daylong kitchen duties as the cooking chore was spread around between her, Bumps and myself).

Did I mention how much I enjoy cooking? I don't get to do it much, especially when I'm married to a carnivore.

After lots of food, a nap, lounging and a little sleep, Queen and I initiated Mission Shop. We synchronized our departure time for 4 a.m. First stop: Carolina Place Mall. Not too crowded, no one visibly grumpy or downtrodden. OK, so maybe there were two exceptions: 1. The line that wrapped around the old-person walking track beside GameStop, where I can only assume people were vying for one of four PS3s sitting in the window. 2. Sears.

Sears opened at 5 a.m., and offered $10 gift cards to the first 200 people. We thought the crowd at the door was hungry for free money. When the chainlink gate refused to open and the crowd saw other people browsing Sears before them, a hysteria began. God forbid!

Some were scrambling to get up the stairs to the second-floor entrance. Queen and I didn't understand: why would they be so upset over $10?

We didn't know where to get our $10, but we figured if we followed the crowd they would lead us to the mother lode. Once the gate opened, two-thirds of the crowd rushed to electronics and the other third darted to tools. Losers.

The gift cards were at the merchandise pick-up entrance. We had to go outside to get in the back of the line. I was #198 and Queen was #199. Woohoo! We made it!

It was a sign of good things to come. Traffic wasn't as bad as last year. Men weren't as grumpy, and there weren't nearly as many small children being dragged by their mothers because their strollers were full of packages.

The second stop was to Dick's Sporting Goods. We considered purchasing another fire pit since last year's got such rave reviews from the recipients. Nah... (I cannot go into great detail of our stop because it may divulge more than I should.)

The third and final shopping stop was to Kohl's. I am a fan of this store. Quality clothes for the boys, cute stuff for the home, and a super sweet $10 for every $50 bonus! The lines once again wrapped entirely around the store, but a woman told us the upstairs lines were considerably quicker. So away we went!

The stop was a complete success, even though I had a run-in with a rude man (who let those creatures out on such a day anyway?)

I just have to tell you about it. Queen ran into one of her friends as we were looking for a Kohl's exclusive near the toy section. This man rolls his shopping bag with wheels next to me and says "oohhhhh K, I need a horn on this thing." He starts to run me over with the thing! I look him right in the eyes and say as coldly as possible "excuse me works too." He just rolls off.

Seriously, it was the only blemish on an otherwise fantastic outing. Once again, women, leave the men folk in bed where they can't get in the way.

We returned, successful in our operation, at 8:30 a.m. Of course, we had to get a super huge breakfast first. It's only proper; we'll call it "debriefing."

It was off to bed for a few hours, then off to work (where I now sit waiting on the press operators to tell me the newspaper is running so I can go home).

Happy Thanksgiving! Remember, your leftovers are only good for three to four days (I learned that today from the advance Sunday health page).