36

You're sitting at a cramped desk in a stuffy room that smells like industrial paint and cleaner, and the vanilla lotion of the girl sitting behind you chomping on gum. You're scribbling furiously on a sheet of paper trying to make the gibberish transform into the answer you need. Just one. You look up at the clock and you can hear the second hand ticking. Ticking your time away. The more you notice the clock, the less you can concentrate. Tick tick tick.

Countdowns are stressful. OK, so I'm being a little melodramatic. I checked our Knot page today. It has a countdown til showtime.

36 days.

I have 36 days left of calling vendors, harrassing people for RSVPs, scratching together enough moolah to make this big day happen. Tomorrow I'll have 35 days. Soon I'll have a month.

I have to admit, I'm being very melodramatic. I'm coasting right now. Almost everything is taken care of (well except for the RSVP thing--that is stressful).

For so long our wedding day was so far away. I could relax and piddle with whatnots. The ribbons on the favor boxes; the floral pins; the votives. Now I have to answer real questions: Who will do my hair? When should my dad get to the church? Where will Brad be while I'm getting ready? (and so on...)

I am 36 days away from being a new person, if not just in writing. I'm going to be a wife.