The long-awaited photos

We had lots of help to move into our new apartment, but it was hot and our stuff was heavy. Everyone was tired...

Yes, it's not correctly exposed, but you get the idea. This is the angle when you first walk in. Don't hold it against me that I was watching "The Hot Chick" when I shot this photo.

The babies. Rocky is black. Smalls is gray. They are inseparable...

...And then we bought a new washer and dryer. Don't they look spiffy?

Post partum depression?

A few weeks ago Queen offered to come take care of me when we returned from our honeymoon.

Why would I need someone to take care of me? Was I going to come back with a stomach bug from Mexican water? Was someone going to assault me at the wedding?

What terrible thing lies in store for me after the honeymoon?

Absolutely nothing. No seriously.

She made the point that after all this planning and stressing, coordinating and arranging, that I will be without a big finish line to assign all of my attention. As soon as this reality hits me, I will tragically fall into a dark depression, from which I will need to be nursed by Queen if I have any chance of surviving.

I was shaken by the conversation, and approached several ladies at work about it. The single girls were taken back: "What!?? Are you serious?" Same reaction I had...

A few married and divorced girls just acknowledged my fears: "Yep, be ready," and "It'll just hit you that you'll have to be with that man for the rest of your life, and all the s*** that comes along with him."

I exited the conversation as some of my coworkers began their tirades on how they will never marry or remarry again.

Yikes.

I'm not worried about Brad, or getting married. I have never been more sure about anything (well, except that I'm a heterosexual woman--I'm pretty sure about that, too). I'm slightly concerned about his sports addiction, but that's manageable. I am concerned about my mental stability.

Do I give myself a new finish line, and what should it be? Or should I relax in knowing that I can have a boring, monotonous life for a little while, then jump back into things with both feet?

August sneaks

Oh my gosh, it's almost August. Deep breath in. Deep breath out.

Lots of things have happened since my last post.

The biggest: we made our first official adult purchase. A front-loading washer and dryer will be delivered to our apartment Saturday. Very exciting, yet very frightening. Especially when you're signing over your discretionary income to Best Buy for the next two years.

I set up our Internet connection yesterday at work. Bad news: not only can we not get DVR (which is a Charter service and we are forced to use the in-house cable service of the apartment complex), but Internet must come from the phone company. The phone company won't do just broadband Internet, so we were forced to get a basic land line, too. It all works out to be about the same price we were paying in Boone, but I didn't want a land line.

Here is the number, but it won't be on til Monday, and we have to buy a phone to connect to the wall. Basically it'll be an extended voice mail service (AKA answering machine) and a back up plan in case of national disasters.

828-256-7151

Oh, here's our new address:

2830 16th Street NE #36
Hickory, NC 28601

(FYI...the rest of the post is about the cats)

The cats are adjusting well. Once again, I promise photos will be posted soon (as soon as I find the dongle to attach the baby camera to my computer). Rocky is a big cry baby who runs around the house hollering. He hollers when Smalls is sleeping or hiding and he can't find him. He hollers because he's bored. He hollers because he sees birds.

Smalls is the biggest clutz I've ever seen. He jumped off a half-wall into a box and banged his leg, then limped under the futon to pout for a while. Today he ran full speed to the top of the chair, only to run (full speed) into the window behind it. He has repeatedly tried to catch his tail, only to fall off whatever he is perched upon. It's very entertaining.

Today I went for a soda in the fridge and they both jumped in and made themselves at home. Have you ever fished a cat out of a fridge? They also managed to find a way into my bed's box springs, and into the bottom of my big cushy chair. I solved the box spring dilemma with a well-placed underbed box, but the cushy chair will require sewing.

They are to the point that they will let you rub them and they will purr, which is a major improvement over the skittish chickens they were a few days ago. They were used to me because I cat-sat for their previous owner for a week. I could tell Brad was frustrated by them at first. He says he's beginning to like them now. Nothing is cuter than seeing him play with them.

Exhausted, but good

First and foremost, let me apologize for falling off the face of the planet. We just moved in to our lovely two-bedroom abode in Hickory, but have yet to connect Internet access (you guessed it, I'm at {the place we shall not mention} right now).

I had a very rough weekend, which included sleeping on a floor (or I should say NOT sleeping on a floor), driving a 26-foot U-Haul up a two-lane mountain highway and scaling a total of four flights of stairs numerous times.

I promise I'll have photos of the new apartment, and the kittens, soon! I just have to find the cord that connects my camera to the computer. Oh, and I have to unpack my computer.

The laptop is dead. This is bad because all the wedding planning documents are saved on its hard drive. It is dead because the battery charger refused to work anymore, and Apple says it will take at least a month to get a new one to me. Apparently lots of people are having trouble with their laptop chargers, hence the lack of supplies.

It is nice to live with Brad Norman again. He is a very pleasant person, and I missed him tremendously this summer.

Please, oh please, don't be mad if I haven't replied to emails/voice mails in a few days. I'm so far behind it's going to take me a while to catch up!

I need a nap.

CHINA PATTERNS!

Just when I thought my life had hit a new all-time 48-hour low (explanation forthcoming)... I go to Target.com and find...

That the china pattern I fell in love with last year is now available again!

I had registered Brad and I for it, only to be extremely disappointed when it was no longer in stock at any Target stores. It is back!!!

If you didn't hear me rave about the pattern last year, here it is: It's called Provence, and it is a set of four coordinating, but not identical plates and bowls. It has bright yellows, blues, reds, greens, you name it! I absolutely love it.

I was so sad at thinking I would have to register for plain white china.

So about the low.

I drove to Boone from work Thursday night so we could sign our lease and get our keys on Friday before I yet again commuted to work. I forgot my cell phone in Boone, and Brad forgot his papers for work, so when he turned around to get them I had no way of knowing. Once I realize he's no longer behind me, I turn around upset that perhaps something bad had happened that I didn't notice as I was leading us to Hickory.

After that 30 minute lapse, we make it to Hickory late for our appointment. I hate being rushed. I had to leave almost as soon as we had a chance to breathe in order to make it to work on time. Last night I didn't leave work until 12:30 a.m. (I was expecting to get out at 10:30), when I then had to drive to Boone (an hour and a half away up mountains).

I then woke up at 9 a.m. to clean, pack and load the car for another load to Hickory. Brad, for the second day in a row, begins syndroming so we must go find food.

I had called U-Haul about our truck on Thursday, and was instructed to wait until they called me, which would be before 5 p.m. on the day before we had reserved it. I never got another call, so I called them today. There are no trucks. Maybe we could drive one up from Hickory and back down? The Hickory office was so perturbed that I asked them to work two minutes before closing that they told me to call back at 7 a.m., at which time I may or may not be able to get a truck.

Moose, CJ, King, Queen, Brad and I will be in Boone ready to move everything Brad and I own early tomorrow morning. With no truck.

I haven't gotten enough sleep in the past couple days. I smell bad. My house is a mess. And I have no truck.

Two months...

Today is July 13. Oh wait, I'm running a day ahead because I'm making the July 13 paper at the moment. Today is July 12.

That means in merely TWO months I will be in Greensboro ... about to get married. I got out of wedding planning mode for a little while so I could focus on graduation and the whole job prospecting thing. Now that those are out of the way, I really need to get cracking!

So here goes. My list of what's left.

1. Programs. They are fully designed, and are currently being proofed. Everyone who has seen them has had a change to make, so this will be a LONG process. Then I have to find someone to print them at a decent price.

2. Flowers. Brad and I have decided to get a Sam's Club membership (I was the complimentary spouse of my stepmom for years since my dad didn't use it), then get bulk roses ordered from them. It is a pretty fantastic deal, and Sam's Club is usually higher quality stuff than Wal-Mart. The girls and any other women I can recruit will assemble the bouquets, corsages and boutonierres on the night before. We will then store the flowers in the hotel room of the guest who likes the coldest room.

3. Ceremony. I'm still ironing out details with Brad and the preacherman about the ceremony. Basically we need to choose what direction we would like the mini-sermon and blessing to go in, and nail down the specifics of who does what, and when.

4. Clothing. I know I should have all this completely ready by now, but it isn't. I don't have a veil, since I'm not a fan of the cheap one I got from a craft store. Also, I don't think anyone other than Brad and C.J. have ordered their tux rentals. I think all the girls except Heather have ordered their dresses. Plus I can't think of anything "borrowed." Any ideas?

5. Out-of-towners. I need to get together information for basically everyone but my family and Jenn about where we have a special hotel deal, and how to get to places (and when). This is particularly important for me to do now because I have to do the tacky task of telling people they have to spend money on a hotel. Eeek.

6. Everything vendor. All the deposits are paid, and now I need to be sure everyone is going to do what I want on that day. Basically I've come up with spreadsheets for each vendor of when they need to be there, and exactly what I want them to do for me. (Trust me, it isn't Bridezilla-ish, hopefully just question proof).

7. Music. How could I forget?!? I haven't asked my aunt Susie about playing piano at the wedding yet! Sheesh, I need to get on that too!

Clearly I should be doing more calling and less typing into blogs.

Two-fingered salute

It's prevalent where I grew up. As you pass others you casually raise two fingers from the steering wheel in salutation. The gesture is reciprocated by the pedestrian or driver.

It is nice. A little "hello" from a neighbor. A little "I know we don't know each other, but I'm glad to see you are well. Have a wonderful day."

It is habit for me. Dog walkers, joggers and suburban driving passers-by all get the two-fingered salute. Rarely ever is it reciprocated. I have a few theories.

1. Charlotte is getting too big for its britches. People in Charlotte feel they shouldn't denigrate themselves by the distraction of hello. They forget that Charlotte is in the heart of Bible-thumping, sweet tea-guzzling, "ya'll" country. They live in a world devoid of all kindness and hospitality, and that is sad.

2. They have no free hand. How can one remove two fingers from a steering wheel if there are no fingers on the wheel to begin with? Many of the non-gesturing folk cannot do so because of cell phones, lattes or lipstick tubes. God forbid I distract them further, since they will probably kill themselves, their passengers and nearby pedestrians in the not-so-distant future.

3. They do not know. It's a simple explanation. Perhaps I came from such a backward existence that those in contemporary society were never exposed to the two-finger salute. After all, who would refuse a hello if they knew the opportunity existed?

So if you pass someone in a dirty farmer in a beat up pickup truck, or a twentysomething in a teal Corolla, take a millisecond and raise two little fingers to say hello. Trust me, knowing you are being a nicer human will make your day less miserable.

Can't make this up

Yes, this is entirely true.



"Organizers of the Iredell County Independence Day Parade made sure there was plenty of water available to refresh participants and spectators on a hot July 1 morning. Some participants, however, came to town with their own refreshments."



"Confederate re-enactors fire their rifles in a Fourth of July salute along the parade route."

Arachnophobia

Wednesday Night

I returned to the Normans' house after spending the weekend in Charleston and Boone, then a full day of work. It was an especially late night, and I didn't get back to Charlotte until 1 a.m. I go to open the screen door at 8824 Rally Drive when a spider THE SIZE OF A GOLF BALL lunges at me.

I can't handle it. I'm on the phone with Brad at the time. He keeps reminding me of my yellow belly, and how I need to deal with the spider. Keep in mind, this spider is a lunger, I'm in sandals and I am carrying no squooshing device but my purse, and why would I do that to such a cute bag?

My only option was to find another way to get into the Norman home. Garage? Too easy; the spider probably had backups waiting in the deep recesses of the door just waiting to attack my hand as I went to raise the door. What could I do?

With Brad on my cell phone in one hand and the motion sensor light going crazy in the driveway, I made my way around to the back of the house. OK Jess, the screen door handle on the back door can't have a spider hiding behind it...

I test the lock. VICTORY! I'm in!

Thursday Night

What are the chances, I tell myself, that this monstrous sentry spider will be at the door again tonight? I start to regret the kindness of the Normans in leaving the porch light on for me. After all, the light attracts bugs and that must be why the spider is torturing me so after a long night at work.

It is there again.

"Don't let it get the best of you," I tell myself. Deep breath in, deep breath out. I stomp on the porch to attempt to scare it away just long enough to unlock the door and get inside to safety.

STOMP! (I was wearing Keds that night -- anticipating a showdown, I didn't want my toes to be vulnerable). It jumped TOWARD me!

That's IT! This spider clearly is sitting at the front door every night to scare the beegees out of me. I turn around to go in through the emergency route when another smaller spider starts descending from a tree just feet from me.

AAGH!

What did I hear, besides the irrational fear eating at the back of my mind that the cat that was left out at night was really a rabid raccoon coming to eat my knees? A man across the street calling his dog. Glenn Small! My hero!

I power walk to his house and beg him to save me. Equipped with a ball Tate must have left in the driveway, Glenn marches straight over to the spider, tells me it is a force to be reckoned with, then quickly squooshes it.

My eternal gratitude goes out to Glenn Small, killer of large spiders and savior of arachnophobes on Rally Drive.

Now, one part of the story I omitted: I knew I was going to hear it from Brad when he called. I let the spider get the best of me TWO nights in a row. Maybe he didn't realize the magnitude of this beast. I just happened to have my digital camera with me so I pulled it out and took a quick shot of the behemoth. See below... And notice the especially creepy extra eyes that seem to glow in the flash's light.

Fat Girl 911

My good friend Adam referred a client to me for a logo design. At first, my thoughts were "sweet! A client!" Then I heard what the logo involved: Fat Girl 911. Awesome. Here is the final workup. I'm sending the file to Bo (she lives in California--whoa!) tomorrow.

CHARLESTON!

I am almost beyond words at the moment.

I am going to Charleston tomorrow with my best friends tomorrow. All seven of them. Holy friggin crap are we going to have a great time!

It's my bachelorette party. I haven't seen Carrie since we graduated together two years ago. Erin is in NYC, so I see her every blue moon or so. I see Jenn (a super fantastic chick I've known since first grade) maybe twice a year. Sarah and the Byrds are my next most-frequent visitors, coming in at roughly three times a year. Heather I see more often that the rest because she is closely linked to the Normans, and the Normans are hard to get away from.

We are all descending upon Charleston with all the sheer force that could possibly be expected of the Gynarchy (plus a few additions).

On the place we shall not mention...

Have you noticed that these entries seem to post between 5-11 p.m.? Yeah, I'm at (the place we shall not mention) then. I get bored because I have finished my (stuff I cannot discuss), or am waiting to finish my (stuff I cannot discuss). There is nothing left to do but play solitaire or pinball and wait. Oops! Gotta go do (stuff I cannot discuss)!

Ma'am Age?

I joked when I turned 23 that I had reached "ma'am age," the age when teens start calling you "ma'am." It was only a joke.

Two years later I have truly reached ma'am age. On my walk out of the newspaper office tonight for dinner the skateboarders were in the parking lot commiting various acts of delinquency, including smoking and (duh) skateboarding on our loading dock.

Upon seeing me, they seemed to spook. Three boys separate and start heading for the street, and one hides a cigarette (as if I was going to bust them -- please). I noticed that I do look suspiciously like a soccer mom today (light blue capris with a yellow polo and white keds -- scary stuff). That is when I realized it: I'm no longer cool.

I can no longer hang with the teenagers. I can't just blend in with the mallrats and the skaters. I can't loiter in front of bowling alleys or cruise the mall parking lot without looking like a complete loser.

Since when did I become such an adult?

More in-depth...

So much is going on, it's hard to keep track of it all!

We are moving into our new two-bedroom, two-bath apartment at Argyle Place on Friday, July 14, with a huge move-in day on Sunday, July 16. It is this cozy apartment complex in northeast Hickory with a pool and walking trails. I think it's only a few miles from Lake Hickory, and it's a few miles down the road from Lenoir-Rhyne College. Our unit (as the landlady said on the phone yesterday), faces the woods, so we get afternoon sun and less view of the neighbors. It's on the second floor, so it has higher ceilings. (Very exciting).

Queen's coworker Ruth has a litter of kittens in her one-bedroom apartment in Ballantyne and needs to find homes. She offered to keep them until we had our new apartment, and even get their first set of shots if we wanted them. We went to see them and they are PRECIOUS!

There were two boys and a girl. The girl was all gray, and one boy was gray with white spots. My favorite was a black and white boy. Brad and I will be the proud mommy and daddy of the two boys, whom he named "Rocky" and "Smalls" (the boxer and the kid from "The Sandlot" for those of you not in the know). They are still small, and will need a lot. I've never been truly responsible for any pets (unless you could my fish Petunia and Ol Yeller), so things like vet visits and litter boxes will be a new experience.

Nonetheless, very exciting.

Brad and I booked our DJ for the reception. We are in the process of picking out songs to be played, since apparently we are really picky. Sheesh!

With that booking we now have all but one major reservation for the wedding. All that's left is the florist.

I've mentally checked out of work this week because I'm in eager anticipation of the upcoming bachelorette weekend in Charleston! Eight of us (that's right, and that's not all the girls either-Ashley isn't old enough to play with the big girls yet), will stay at the King Charles Inn and have a grand time!

Speaking of grand times, my Christmas present was fantastic! Brad promised he would take me to a theatre show for Christmas, but the next interesting show wasn't until June (now). What a great gift. We went to Morton's steak place in uptown Charlotte. I had lobster bisque as an appetizer (it was amazing). Then I had broiled salmon and split a baked potato with Brad. He had the NY strip steak. We ate entirely too much, then ate dessert! It was this chocolate cake with hot fudge inside, with a scoop of icecream on the side. It also had raspberries and a sprig of mint. DELICIOUS!

We cut it close, and had to go immediately to the theatre (it was only a few blocks away so we walked off some of our food coma). We sat in the mezzanine, which apparently means the first balcony. The show was great; much more entertaining than the movie version of "Chicago." We sat beside some guy who kept complaining that it wasn't visually interesting, since the set and actors were all black.

Brad was getting mad at him, and as soon as he got up for the intermission Brad whispered what a tool he was. I laughed really loud. oops.

I had a fantastic time, and I think Brad did too. It's so much fun to dress up and go on "grown up" dates.

OH! How could I forget...

We booked our honeymoon. It's a four-star, all-inclusive hotel in Puerto Vallarta. We'll leave for a 9 a.m. flight from Charlotte on Monday morning (yipes!), and return on Friday night. We got a fantastic deal on it, and our room overlooks the Gulf of Mexico. I even got Brad's wedding gift (about which I won't disclose any more information, since he may read my blog). If you want to know what it is, email me (jhines@hinesmedia.com) and I'll spill.

OK, enough with the updates. I'm going to fix up the images of the pages I'm doing at work and post them tomorrow (if I remember). I'll be sure to post photos of the new kittens, and the new apartment.

Thanks for reading! I didn't realize how widespread the blog was until I deleted the old one!

Update!

I had to get a new blog. My old blog was leaked to my workplace, and they have a corporate policy that employees are not to blog about their job.

Quick update, then I promise I'll add more later...

I am in Charlotte living with the Normans.

I just got my Christmas and birthday presents. Christmas: dinner at Morton's and "Chicago" with my lovely fiance. Birthday: KITTENS! Rocky and Smalls, two adorable brothers who are currently living with one of Queen's coworkers until we move.

Oh yeah, we're moving to Hickory in July. We sign the lease soon.

More details later. Welcome back!